God Yes - Religion No

At a local meeting that I attend we sometimes talk about our past religious experiences and beliefs. There seems to be no shortage of people recovering from their Southern Baptist upbringing. I remember the crazy teachings that I was bombarded with growing up in that enviromment. God first, others next, and self last, is one of them. If that doesn't teach one to be co-dependent nothing will.

That kind of thinking taught me to feel guilty anytime I did something, or even wanted something, just for me. It led to a life of deep shame and inadequacy because I cared about me and wanted things for myself. I felt like I was a bad person for having human wants and needs.

In AA we talk about a different understanding of God. Even though some still cling to religious teachings and practices most people simply come to believe in a concept of a loving God who has no need or desire to condemn or judge us. This concept is more healthy and more practical. Let's keep it simple and not mess it up with theology and superstition. God cares for us and loves us. That's as complicated as it needs to be.

Talking To Members Of The Opposite Sex

I've been reading a discussion on an online AA forum about whether or not women and men should talk to one another before and after meetings. The man who started the discussion only has a few days sobriety so he's entitled to be confused about AA protocol - and pretty much anything else actually. It's the chastising he received from another man in his local AA group that has me puzzled. This newcomer likes to talk with people after meetings (and we do encourage the newcomers to do that, by the way) and some of the people he talks to just happen to be women. After one meeting he was approached by one of the men in attendance and told not to talk to the women. How very, very strange!

I do agree that we need to watch our motives when we deal with the opposite sex - especially in AA where people are trying to get their lives in order. However, I don't think totally staying away from them is the answer. I recall my early days in recovery. I felt really comfortable talking with a particular lady and she was totally comfortable talking to me. I knew she had a boyfriend and I never once moved on her; I just needed to talk with someone and she was available. I really needed that. Thank God for people like her who didn't care what the AA judges thought about it - she just wanted to help.

When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there and for that I am Responsible.

Relapse

Some people in our fellowship get really upset and disturbed when a friend goes back out to drink some more. I totally understand this. I've had friends go back out and I've always hated to see it. Some come back and some do not. When they come back we just welcome them back and tell them we missed them. Hopefully they will stick around long enough to learn that they have a choice, and hopefully they will choose sobriety, but we each must decide for ourselves to stay sober - no matter what someone else says or does. Recovery is a choice.

One Day At A Time

Living one day at a time is very wise.

Yesterday is gone forever. It went away and left us with its
mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and
pains. Yesterday has passed beyond our control. All
the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We
cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a
single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever.

Another day we should not worry about is tomorrow. No
matter how much we worry about it or plan for it we cannot
actually live it until it gets here. And if we are fearful of what
may happen tomorrow we relinquish our ability to enjoy today.
Most of the things we worry about don't materialize anyway, so
why worry?

Living for today is best. We can handle one day much better.
Today I can choose to look for the good. Today I can choose
to love and forgive, smile and laugh.  Today I can choose to
enjoy myself.

Sure, there will be challenges along the way, and probably
somebody will say something, or do something, I don't like
but that is okay.  That's life.  Today I choose to go out of my
way to relax and enjoy.  

The Good And Bad Of Meetings

At this morning's meeting someone mentioned that there are people in AA who like to run things and push their agenda on everyone else. Of course a name or two popped into my head immediately but I did not mention them. I just reminded everyone that the ego maniacs and power seekers have always been a part of our fellowship and always will be.

Several people mentioned that they do not go to certain meetings because of these people. Fortunately in my area there are many meetings to go to and we can pick and choose. That is one thing good I can say about AA in our area. Even though we don't have the quality I wish we had, at least we do have variety. For that I'm grateful.

When I go to meetings I'm not going just for myself. I'm going looking for someone who is willing to learn. I'm always willing to share my experience, strength and hope with someone who really wants to hear it. That is the true spirit of AA - reaching out a helping hand to the few who really are wanting a life free of alcohol, not just a meeting to go to.

Hope

At this morning's meditation meeting we talked about several things - one of them being hope. I mentioned that when I first came to AA I had no hope, and that it came later. Others in attendance understood what I was talking about and agreed that they were the same way when they came into the fellowship.

Hope is a necessary component in recovery. That is the essence of step two. After we have admitted that we are helpless and hopeless in step one we must somehow move into hope before we can make any progress. Hope is not easy in the beginning, but when it comes it gives us a foundation to build on.

Bill Wilson & The 12 Steps

There are those in AA who like to spread untruths about our program of recovery and about AA history.  One of the stories going around is that Bill Wilson took many years to work the 12 steps.  Is it true? Did Bill Wilson work the 12 steps at the beginning of his recovery or many years later?  You can find the answer here.